It’s inevitable that along our journey we will encounter people who do not honor their word and there may also be times when we do not honor ours. Life is in constant motion, so change is understandable and oftentimes expected; and that is okay, normal and healthy. However, what is NOT okay or healthy (although unfortunately quite normal for some) is to not follow up in a timely manner with the others who are involved or to disappear altogether.
There is mind logic and emotional wound logic.
Mind logic knows that it someone does not honor their word, follow through, lies, manipulates, etc. that THESE are a reflection of him/her and has absolutely NOTHING to do with the recipient (you). It is a choice to engage in these low energy, life taking, emotionally wounding behaviors.
However, ‘emotional wound logic’ experiences these as triggers to the feelings of:
Rejection
Abandonment
Not good enough
Because somewhere (oftentimes in childhood) this wound was established. Perhaps it was caused by an absent parent. Logically, now as an adult you know the separation of your parents or decision for dad/mom to not be active in your life has absolutely nothing to do with you. However, as a child who may have waited for hours for that parent to pick you up and felt rejected, disappointed and/or not good enough when he/she did not show this feels familiar.
For the child who never knew their parent and longed to be ‘seen, heard, validated and loved’ this feels like the familiar rejection and abandonment.
When someone does not honor their word (i.e. stands you up, doesn’t follow through, disappears, cancels at last minute with no explanation, etc.), especially in the vulnerable romantic, heart centered space; this exacerbates the ‘not good enough/worthy’ wound.
And every disappointment (usually in the romantic arena) makes this ‘groove’ a bit deeper until it becomes a well-worn path to emotional hurt. Although you have made healing a priority and have made exceptional strides in this arena, it still stings when it happens.
At Love Grows we like to focus on your ‘power’…what do you have power over?
You cannot change or control the way this person CHOOSES to interface with the world (believe me, their behavior is NOT person specific to you; this is how he/she interfaces with the world) but YOU do have POWER over the narrative you tell yourself and the role you play in it. Sure, you can choose to be the victim, where you have no power and this happened to you. OR (my preference/recommendation) is to choose to view yourself victorious where you are abstracting the lessons, tools and wisdom from this experience.
What did you learn about yourself?
Is there anywhere you could have made different choices?
What is this experience here to teach you?
Were there any red flags your intuition felt/perceived but you over-rode? Why did you over-ride them?
Which behavior/characteristics expand/constricts your happiness, well-being?
Which behaviors/characteristics trigger your emotional wounds?
There is a purpose why your paths crossed with each other at this particular juncture. There are no mistakes.
Find the lesson.
Discover the wisdom.
Own your power.
…but whatever you do, do NOT allow this to dim your light or belief in goodness, abundance and love. Your ultimate power is to create in your mind and heart the vision you seek to manifest and experience on the physical plane. Do NOT give away your power to what is a temporary, minute experience in the grandness of you and your life adventure! Onward and inward in love!
