Last night I had the opportunity to attend #RealtoReel, hosted by JackDaniels, an event showcasing rising African American filmmakers. It’s always a privilege to witness the beginning stages of something for all of the established things we love each had a beginning. It takes courage to present your creation (baby) to the world, to a space where you know people are going to judge not only your creation but also you. It takes tremendous courage to share your vulnerability.
Think about all of the established, well known brands, things and people (i.e. athletes, entertainers, designers, speakers, chefs, etc.) you admire, respect and adore. Before they were the perfected, well known, polished version you know today, they were once only known by a few. They experienced many challenges and various failures. I am sure there was a time when they received more ‘Nos’ than ‘Yes.’ But it is evident they continued because now we are quite familiar with them.
Unfortunately, I think many people do not realize how sacred it is to be invited to witness the beginning, the conception or development of something. Perhaps those who do not know this have forgotten that they too were a beginner in various areas of their life at one time. This selective amnesia is what contributes to judgement, to using the ‘ruler’ of an established to measure the progress of a beginner. To view beginners through the ‘filter’ of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve instead of at face value without making a comparison.
Comparisons, especially when utilized on humans, is quite unfair because there are no two humans with the EXACT same variables.
Even twins, raised in the same environment still have very different experiences making it unfair to compare them. Unfortunately, this is what we do as humans, we constantly compare and contrast ourselves to others and others against each other. Which is unfortunate, because through this ‘filter’ we never really see each other and it can be felt. This happens in relationships all the time: ‘You would be better if you did X. She should do Y. He could do Z which would make him better than…”
However, when shift our perspective from the head to the heart space, the filter is removed (well this is only if you have removed the emotional muck from your heart), allowing you to see differently. When you no longer view people from what YOU perceive to be their shortcomings, deficits and when YOU stop comparing them to you or someone else; that is when you begin to really see them. Viewing others from your heart instead of your eyes or mind is an art, a sacred art which has the power to change your world and relationships.