Pedestal: a position in which someone is greatly or uncritically admired

Pedestals are small. There is not much room to relax, stretch out or grow. The pedestal is a very lonely, uncomfortable place to reside while the rest of the world is allowed to make mistakes, discover, learn, grow, edit, relapse, try again, etc in the vast human wilderness. Seems as if the pedestal is more of a seclusion, confinement and even a prison of sorts.

In the most recent episode of @issarae @insecurehbo we witness Molly have a breakdown at discovering her parents experienced infidelity in their marriage during her childhood. Upon discovery of this information she has a tantrum and bolts out of the house because this information was just too much for her to handle. Yet, she could handle the married man’s penis *gasp*; but we will save that for another blog.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: YOUR PARENTS ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU!

Your parents had an entire life before they created you. A life filled with all of the emotions, dreams, challenges, frustrations, etc. that you have, are and will experience. They had big dreams, some fulfilled and others deferred (oftentimes because they invested in you and yours). They experienced heartbreak before conception of you, during pregnancy and after you arrived. Heartbreak, which may or may not have been romantic in nature. Your parents have fears, moments/seasons when they were tired or just did not know what to do.

Everything you are dealing with/experiencing/thinking/feeling in your life at any given moment; your parents have the equivalent or some variation occurring in their life as well; things you have no idea exists. The same way your parents do not know EVERY detail about your life, you do not know everything about them. Why do you deserve the space to learn, grow, experience life fully including mistakes but your parents do not? Seems quite selfish and immature, like Molly’s tantrum.

Oftentimes the reason why your relationship with your parents has not evolved into a healthy adult relationship is because you continue to act like a child in some capacity.

Yes, they are your parents, however the same way you want them to respect you, your life, boundaries, etc. they deserve the same. How well do you know your parents?

How did they meet?
Who were they before they met?
How did they begin dating?
What was their social life like back then?
How did they know they loved each other?
Were you planned or not?
How did they feel when they discovered they were pregnant with you?
Did they consider not having you?
What were their dreams before having you?
Which dreams did they accomplish? Which ones do they still desire? Which ones did they release?
What are they most proud of?
What is their biggest disappointment?

Today, I encourage you to begin cultivating an adult relationship with your parents, they are so much more than you know. And for goodness sake, take them off that got damn pedestal; allow them to be free…to be their authentic selves…give them the space to grow. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS