Conversation is an Art

There is so much we do not know about each other, yet after an initial or a few exchanges (sometimes via technology) we are quick to make conclusive judgments about each other as if they are facts and dispose of each other while never having a proper conversation to seek clarity.

I speak often about The Art of Conversation, because it is indeed an art. A few email-text-SM exchanges are not conversations. The Art is being intentional and present while engaging each other. To discard the 3Cs (convert, condemn, convince) and instead to converse to learn, expand, think, listen, build, etc. To ask direct questions instead of making assumptions. Oh, the dreaded assumptions; we are all guilty of this. Making assumptions results in quite possibly missing out on absolutely beautiful adventures because we opted out based on our limited assessment of a person, opportunity, etc.

How often do you ask someone or communicate:

• What do you mean by?
• How do you operationally define X?
• That’s interesting, because for me Y means…
• Is this mandatory for you or a preference?
• Are you okay? Your tone seems to indicate something is happening.
• Sometimes when someone does Action A it means X. For you, what does Action A mean?

To be honest, I am quite amazed humans are able to get along at all because of the different narratives and interpretations constantly being made in our minds for absolutely EVERYTHING. Couple this with how each of our individual wounds, experiences, beliefs, etc. color our perspective. I guarantee you EACH of us have drawn incorrect conclusions about someone and have no idea how wrong we were.

Assumption are the lazy person’s way of interfacing with the world. They write a few adjectives on a box and move through the world placing people in these boxes, never really getting to know each other and never truly knowing love or self.

This year I implore you to begin to converse and engage differently. Begin interacting from a heart space, meaning The Art of Conversation which is to learn. No more of this only looking for things to support the conclusions you prematurely formulated in your mind. Realize, everyone is different.

• All men are not the same as the man who broke your heart.
• All women are not the same as the woman who broke your heart.
• All men are not like your father.
• All women are not like your mother.
• All women are not like the woman who betrayed you.
• All men are not like the man who betrayed you.
• All women are not like your ex-wife.
• All Americans are not…
• All Africans are not…
• All people who subscribe/practice a particular religion are not…

Conversation is an Art.

Be Impeccable with your Word

At Love Grows we focus on the power of words and teaching our clients how to become impeccable and intentional with their words.

You always have a choice as to how and which words to use at any given moment. Words have the power to:

• strengthen or sabotage relationships

• build or tear down someone

• breathe life (love) or death (fear)

• encourage or discourage

• heal or wound

Especially important are the words you use to speak to yourself. You must become your strongest advocate, cheerleader, motivator, etc because you are with you 24/7.

Once you begin to use your words to strengthen, build up, breathe life, encourage and heal yourself you will experience a significant shift in the quality of your life, relationships and the frequency in which you operate. When you love self fully, you can love others better. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

That's NOT My Muck...It's Yours!

Although you may have forgiven someone, it is possible they have not forgiven you or their own emotional wounds serve as a block, hindering their ability to nurture the space (friendship, relationship).

This is evident by the 'emotional jabs' they inflict upon you. By inviting these individuals into your life, these 'emotional jabs' will exacerbate any of your residual wounds, prolonging the healing period. It is the equivalent to inviting them into your beautiful, clean, new house (symbol for forgiveness and new beginnings) and they enter with muddy construction boots, walk around your living room, plop down on your new sofa and then say, 

'For a new place, it sure is dirty! What kind of person lives like this? Why can't you take care of stuff? By the way you keep your space, you aren't welcome in mine.'

Either they do not realize or refuse to be accountable that they are the one who brought in the mud. Never allow anyone to convince you their 'muck' is yours. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

The Women: Mothers & Daughters

At Love Grows one of our largest relationship dynamics is the Mother-Daughter relationship.

 

Daughters, 

Your mom is a woman who dreams, has fears, trying to figure out life, made mistakes, has regrets, has experienced heart ache, feels pain, at times did not/does not feel pretty, was rejected, did not use her voice, spoke up for herself, feels disappointment, etc. Once you realize this, and see her as a woman NOT just YOUR mother, the quality of your relationship will change. This is where you will enter into an adult relationship with your mom.

 

Mothers, 

Your daughter is a woman who dreams, has fears, trying to figure out life, made mistakes, has regrets, has experienced heart ache, feels pain, at times did not/does not feel pretty, was rejected, did not use her voice, spoke up for herself, feels disappointment, etc. Once you realize this, and see her as a woman NOT just YOUR child, the quality of your relationship will change. This is where you will enter into an adult relationship with your daughter.

 

We accept daughters as young as 12 years old. How is the relationship with your mom/daughter? We are here to help. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com to schedule your sessions.

 

I Grow. You Grow. Love Grows!

- Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Love is a Lifestyle: Love is a Language

Love communicates in a very specific way, it has its own language. Love is impeccable with words and very intentional with each. Love cannot speak when ego or anger is speaking for they are very different languages and operate at different frequencies. 

Love does not speak with only words, instead it incorporates tone, body language, touch, pitch, energy, the eyes and intention, the true meaning behind what is being communicated.

Emotional wounds hinder love's ability to communicate, for these wounds serve as a barrier between the heart and brain.

When you are in emotional pain both consciously and subconsciously you are in defense mode, constantly protecting yourself because of your fear of being hurt. When you are unaware of your wounds, you are also unaware of your triggers and cannot communicate these to others; which result in reactions instead of responses. Reactions that are often verbally abusive, wounding others. 

Are you interested in becoming fluent in the language of love? If so, we are here and are now accepting new clients. Contact us today, info@lovegrows.us to schedule your sessions today. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS