Are you missing out on a potential great match because your list of ‘must have qualifications’ for you to EVEN CONSIDER accepting a Meet and Greet from a potential prospect is so narrow and specific that no one or perhaps only your Ex qualifies?

When you have not invested the time to heal your emotional wounds usually what happens is instead of learning and growing from your past experiences you become extremely controlling in attempts to avoid future heartache. As a result, you may:

Say ‘No’ with lightning speed
Create long lists of must haves
Are distrusting which gives the air of being elite and non-approachable
Interrogate potential prospects looking for the ‘Gotcha!’ to justify your ‘emotional walls’
Expect an external entity to be responsible for your happiness, love, etc. instead of someone to expand it because it already dwells inside
Make general broad statements about an entire group, based on your experience with a limited few

When you do your work you discover a few things:

You trust yourself to make the best decisions for you which empowers you and reduces the fear of being taken advantage of because you know you have the autonomy to walk away at any moment when a space is not healthy
Everyone is on their own journey and oftentimes their poor behavior is not intentional but they have not done their work hence are emotionally immature
You are responsible for your health and wellbeing on ALL levels
You cannot force or fast track love, chemistry or compatibility
There is a rhythm, ebb and flow to life and love and you are more aligned with them
Your perspective changes as well as what you value and prioritize

At Love Grows we are advocates of doing your emotional work because a ‘healthy me space’ is vital for a ‘healthy we space’ and a healthy me space totally transforms your dating life. From a space of being emotionally healthy and mature you become open to meeting and dating the person who compliments you and you them. Your focus is now on quality and intangible qualities which may result in your big love presenting in a package that is different than the original image in your head. Perhaps your big love is a divorcee, has a child from a previous relationship, of a different race/nationality, slightly older or younger, slightly taller or shorter, etc. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS