Day 5: Sessions with Misha - Authentic

There are many messages, both overt and covert, which imply we are not good enough. Messages pushing products to make us more or less of something. “When, Then” messages…”When you achieve X, then you will be Y.”

• Where are the spaces celebrating the present version of us?
• Where are the spaces recognizing that life is on the job training, not a simulation, where we have the luxury of ‘practice runs?’
• Where are the spaces filled with grace, patience, encouragement, celebration, high fives, support and to serve as a witness to the various spaces where we have grown and where we are growing.

Love Grows Sessions with Misha serves as one of these sacred places where your authentic self is welcomed

and expected because I know this ‘present’ version of you is the ONLY one who has ALL of the power to make changes, heal, plan, celebrate, honor, rest, renew, nurture and love ALL parts of you and your journey. Your ‘past’ and ‘future’ selves do not have this gift or power.

Day 2: Sessions with Misha - Place to Heal Emotional Wounds

For many people there is quite a bit of stigma associated with therapy. In attempts to provide a different perspective on therapy, we are beginning a new series, “What Are Sessions like with Misha of Love Grows”  that will run for the next few weeks.

Day 2 of 19:

Your loved ones mean well when they give their advice; but there is often an inherent bias based on the relationship. As a result, unfortunately, it becomes difficult for these loved ones to be objective. Sometimes their perspective is skewed by their unhealed emotion wounds, beliefs, opinion/feelings about others involved in your situation, fear or perspective. Sometimes, your loved ones have unhealthy coping strategies within their own life which also results in providing unhealthy and ineffective advice to you. Additionally, some of your loved ones are NOT confidential and intentionally or unintentionally exacerbate your emotional wounds by sharing your personal, vulnerable information with others.

The same way you outsource to experts in other areas of your life: pap smears, car repairs, house repairs, dental, beautician/barber, nail techs, yard maintenance, etc. the same is applicable for your emotional wellness, well-being and healing. You are not going to your loved ones for a pap smear, nor are you trying to YouTube the “Quick 5 Steps to DIY Paps” *sigh* So why are you not as meticulous with your emotional health and healing? Why are you not willing to invest with an expert in this area of your life?

Sessions with me are an emotionally safe, objective, non-judgmental, confidential space where you are encouraged to be vulnerable and transparent.

The ultimate goal is your emotional wellness. There is no blame. I am patient and our sessions will move at your pace and comfort level; but I will encourage you to stretch a bit. I understand that healing is not a linear process, but instead it’s a journey where there may be moments where you feel as if you regressed or are stagnant. This is where I come in, to serve as your witness and reminder of where and how you are progressing. My sessions are gentle but effective.

When Disappointment Deflates Excitement

It’s okay and healthy to feel excited about someone or something; to allow your heart to fully expand at the possibility of an experience your heart desires to have. It’s okay to share this excitement with your loved ones.

It’s okay to be vulnerable, transparent, believe, trust and be open to love.

It’s okay to want to have a beautiful, passionate, fun, exciting, healthy, life-giving, emotionally mature, safe love experience absent of the 3Cs, filled with the 3Rs.  

It’s also okay to feel disappointed when it does not come to fruition or dissolves before your heart is ready to part.

Sometimes we may feel an element of shame and/or embarrassment when a relationship either does not manifest or ends. We may dread having to face those very same people we shared our excitement with and their desire to know why.

Disappointment may result in feeling foolish for being excited, hopeful and we may erroneously believe moving forward we should temper our excitement or not to allow ourselves to get excited at all. We may conclude that it is not emotionally safe to dream, hope, trust and believe the vision and promise God placed in our hearts and spirit. We may incorrectly believe we are not good enough or worthy because if we were, X would have happened or Y would not have ended.

 

It’s okay to allow yourself to FULLY feel the disappointment. Actually, it is the healthiest way to process. Allow it to flow through you. Do not stuff it.

1. Go outside without any gadgets.
2. Place your bare toes in the grass.
3. Close your eyes.
4. Wiggle your toes.
5. Open your arms.
6. Inhale deeply.
7. Exhale slowly.

You are alive. You are here. You are a gift.

 

Do you realize how many stars had to align to create you?

Can you comprehend the miracle that is you?

Can you grasp that ‘THIS’ disappointment/setback is merely ‘self-correcting’ re-calibrating to realign you with your purpose.

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing out of the reach of God/Love…NOTHING! There is NOTHING anyone can do and there is NO ONE on this plane (or any other) that serves as a ‘gate keeper’ to the love that has been allocated to you.

NOTHING.

NO ONE.

Listen to me love. Can you hear me dear heart? Yes, you…the one who feels as it there is no way you can get pass ‘THIS.’ You are in a body, on a round sphere suspended in the galaxy near the sun and darkness simultaneously. Believe me…’THIS’ cannot compare to the infinite miracles that is life, love and God.

It’s okay to feel disappointed.

It is better to release, trust and KNOW that who and what is for you is for you and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that isn’t will make their exit in some of the most creative ways. Do not resist. Allow.

The Purpose of Relationships

Relationships are beautiful opportunities to learn more about self. However, some people erroneously believe relationships are meant to save, fix, improve and/or change who they fundamentally are OR believe it is their job to change, save, fix and/or improve another. It is quite egotistical and unkind when you enter into a relationship with the intention of changing someone because what you are implying is

“I do not think you are good enough just as you are AND I KNOW better for you.”

Wow! 

Interacting with other humans in all relationship dynamics but especially within a romantic space introduces us to many different dynamics. Both parties learn a great deal through communication styles, energy exchanges, the way they navigate areas where agreement and perspectives differ. Do they implore the 3Cs (condemn, convert, convince) as a strategy within their relationship? Do they expand or constrict each other?

It is through these experiences, regardless of the duration of the relationship, where we discover (if we are open and aware) the intangible things that are required or prohibited within our relationships. These intangibles have the ability to set a new bar or baseline as we continue along our journey. 

As for me, I have had the pleasure of having 3 big loves in my life and big love #3 is where I experienced the beauty and liberation of what it is like when someone does NOT try to micromanage me or my femininity. I do not know if people are aware of all the ways humans try to micromanage, silence, and/or control each other: 

• Perhaps some of you avoid certain topics, remain quiet, etc because you do not want to ‘deal’ with your partner’s reaction. 
• Maybe you haven’t proceeded with what you really want to do with your hair (grow natural, wear weave, cut it all off, color it, etc.) because of your partner’s preference. 
• Maybe you avoid red lipstick because of the hang ups or associations your S/O has with the color or this color against your skin hue. 
• Maybe you stopped dancing because your S/O does not or cannot dance. 
• Maybe you avoid participating in conversations 
• Stopped being active in your various groups, committees, causes

A beautiful bond, energy and experience is co-created when both parties are free to show up and are accepted for exactly who they are.

It is in this space where I was able to fully expand my wings and discover how massive and beautiful they are. In this space he loves me just as I am and I him. In this space we have the ability to have honest, vulnerable, transparent conversations and listen…really hear each other and neither of us utilize the 3 Cs. There was one conversation we had where we just shared our perspective on an experience from our past and it was transformational to just listen…no defense mechanisms…no 3Cs…no blaming. Only heart space listening. This skill is one of the best gifts I received from this relationship. 

Once you experience how it feels to fully expand your wings, you cannot go back. You can no longer keep them folded or allow someone to clip them.

When you experienced what it feels like to soar, no one can convince you of the dangers or how scary flying can be, YOU have your OWN experiences with flight and know differently. You now have a new realm to live and explore and can choose between the sky, water and the ground, finding beauty in all. However, never again will you allow someone to keep you confined (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially) to a small space. When you discover your wings, although they are beautiful, purposeful and strong you also know and appreciate the times when YOU CHOOSE to fold them and those who REALLY accept you will still see the stunning beauty at these moments as well. 

This is the beauty of relationships, the power to discover more of who we are and to experience life together. Do not miss the lessons, message and/or tools because of the ‘teacher.’ Change your perspective. There is a purpose why paths cross when they do.

Be Present. 
Be Open. 
Observe with your heart.
Listen with your heart.
Speak from your heart. 
Love Grows in many forms.  
 

The Gift of December

Beginnings are magical.

Although I may experience a little nervousness with them, I have come to welcome them. Beginnings are like a blank canvas or an empty house awaiting my personal touch, style, flair, and energy. I feel renewed and excited by these spaces and believe absolutely any and everything of the highest good is possible even and especially within our relationships.

We have entered the last month of 2017

• how is your heart?
• How are your relationships?
• Your marriage?
• Engagement?
• Friendships?
• Relationship with your parents? Children?
• How are your professional relationships?
• Communication and conflict resolution styles?
• How is your sex life and the various intimacy components of your relationship?
• And what about you, love…how is your relationship with yourself?

I am excited and grateful for December 1, 2017 a day none of us have experienced nor will we experience again. I am excited to have the opportunity to help grow, nurture and cultivate love in your life. You do not have to do it alone. You do not have to go into 2018 (or even next week) with the quality of your relationships being less than what it can be. Are you ready? The last month of 2017 is the perfect time to begin. Let’s grow love! – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS