Although we share the same language within a culture and have a basic understanding of various words and concepts, the details vary significantly for individuals and is often shaped by experience. For example:

We are familiar with the terms girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance, husband, wife, marriage, parenting, friendship, loyalty, honesty, etc. However these are operationally defined differently depending on who you ask.

A man may have certain expectations when you transition from girlfriend - fiance - wife - mother. These may vary slightly or significantly to the woman. A variation which may compliment or be in conflict of each other.

A woman may have the expectation to begin a family shortly after marriage and have a certain number of children in mind. Whereas, the guy may have the expectation to enjoy the marriage/each other for 5 years, get settled and then begin a family. .

One party may have the expectation that if an amazing career opportunity presents which requires a cross country or out of country move, the spouse will be supportive and ready to move. Whereas, the other spouse may expect to remain close to family.

Expectations vary in all sectors including sex, communication, career, social life, fitness, religion/spirituality practice, etc and unfortunately many of these are not discussed. Instead, when expectations do not align, the battle of the 3 Cs begin; where people try to convince, convert and/or condemn the other person for not having the same expectations.

Expectations are not universal and it is not fair to expect another to accept yours. Instead, together you may need to co-create new expectations for the 'We' space you two share. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS