The Vintage Art of Creating a Sacred We Space

You.

Me.

We.

Just Us.

No gadgets.

No wi-fi.

No cyber voyeurs invited into our sacred space.

No curated shots for the gram.

No check-ins.

No witty taglines.

GPS is off.

Sun.

Sand.

Surf.

Vintage camera to capture these moments.

Moments which may never make it to cyberspace.

Instead…reside

Offline.

In beautiful frames in our home…

and intertwined within our hearts.

You.

Me.

We.

Just us.

If You Read 1 Article About Judgments Read This One

Being judgmental is perhaps the number one reason why people remove others from their inner circle of trust.

 

There are infinite realities and perspectives and everyone is on their own journey. Life is “on the job training” where we are all learning, implementing, revising, re-implementing, designing, implementing, re-designing, learning, gaining wisdom, revisiting, learning, teaching, exploring, discovering, repeating, etc. Although we have all seen many Thursdays and the month of March this is the FIRST and LAST time each of us will experience March 1, 2018. It is new.

Your beliefs, perspective, rules, norms, boundaries, process, fears, etc are NOT universal truths which everyone is suppose to adhere. It is disrespectful, unkind and not of love to impose and expect others to adhere to and apply your version to their life. To have these expectations and to sit in judgment is quite egotistical.

• Who are you to judge another?

• Who are you to 'freeze' someone at a specific time point and refuse to allow them to evolve?

• What is the purpose of gossiping about another, what are YOU REALLY attempting to avoid within yourself?

• Sometimes when it seems as if someone has ‘disappeared’ from your life it is because they became tired of your judgment, unsolicited advice, the threat of damnation, you pointing out everything YOU perceive to be wrong with their life, choices, behavior, etc.
• Perhaps they grew tired of conversations where you were the judge, jury, bailiff, prosecutor and the world was the defendant.
• Maybe they were exhausted with having to wear a mask around you, no longer free to be their full authentic self because they knew you would go into your ‘fix my life’ mode where you had all the answers and they had nothing.

 

They did not disappear. They removed you from their inner circle of trust.

The truth is the ones that are the most judgmental are the ones who either have significant blind spots to the areas where they can grow or have significant healing to do.

No one is an expert at life because life is constantly evolving. However, there are those who are more aligned with the ebb and flow of life and practice non-resistance. When you respect another person’s journey you no longer try to convince, convert or condemn (3 Cs) them or sit in judgement. Instead you meet them exactly where they are and provide a safe, non-judgmental space where all parties can be vulnerable, transparent and emotionally safe to explore, discover, release and evolve. You are able to do this because you are honest and aware of YOUR FULL truth, not only the socially acceptable parts.

Are you judgmental? Are you ready to discover your emotional wounds that are contributing to this behavior? We are now accepting new clients. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com for more information and to schedule your appointments. Love Grows and is in Full Bloom! – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Need vs Want Relationship

There is a difference between a NEED and WANT relationship. A need is something mandatory for survival. For example, babies need their parents because they are not able to provide and take care of self. They are fully dependent on their caretakers. Parents are keenly aware before embarking on this journey that this relationship will not be equitable. Sure, babes are super cute and expand the heart space; but they will need more than they give and that is okay for this relationship dynamic; especially in the early years.

A ‘need’ relationship is similar to the parent – child dynamic; where one person due to their lack of emotional maturity believes they NEED Person X to survive, be happy, feel love, etc.

These ‘needy’ relationships are quite draining on the other person and soon resentment begins to set in because unlike a parent who is fully aware of the inequitable dynamics PRIOR to entering the relationship; in these romantic situations this dynamic is usually unknown.

 

A ‘want’ relationship is very different. In these spaces, the partners are not needed for survival, happiness, love, shelter, etc. instead they choose and want to share in each other’s lives and embark on the life journey adventure together...as partners and friends.

When both parties are emotionally healthy and mature the quality of the relationship reflects this as well. The manner in which they speak to each other and handle challenges are very different. There are no longer arguments, instead there are discussions. Neither party tries to condemn, convict or convince (The 3 C’s) the other nor are ‘dirty tactics’ (i.e. manipulation, guilt, emotional warfare, silent treatments, emotional punishment, etc.) utilized. They do not try to micromanage each other in any facet.

 

Trust is the foundation in which the relationship is built and both parties have and continue to co-create and cultivate a sacred space where both feel emotionally safe to be vulnerable and transparent.

Some people do not know how to function within a ‘want’ relationship because they erroneously believe if they are not needed they have somehow lost their power and ‘stake’ in the other person’s life. This is where a mental and emotional ‘shift’ in perspective is required. Healthy relationships do not operate with a power dynamic or need to have dominion over another’s life.

This is what we do at Love Grows, we join you exactly where you are and gently help you heal and it is through healing where your perspective begins to change. Are you in a need or want relationship? We are accepting new clients. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com to schedule your sessions. – Misha

#MishaGrowsLove #ADifferentKindOfCardiologist #HeartWork #LightWork #counseling #therapy #couples #marriage #engaged #premarital #parenting

Grounded

A man who is grounded and has a clear vision for his life knows the qualities and characteristics in a woman that will compliment him and the same is true for a woman.

These individuals have the ability to see each other in totality and

...are keenly aware that the whole is always greater than any ‘piece.’

Sure, another individual may have more or less of something than your significant other but their pieces cannot compare or replace the whole, not if you are clear on your vision and purpose.

In order to recognize your love, you must be clear and grounded in the grandness of you. We can experience happiness with many people, and even a great life; but your best life, now that is something different. © - Misha N. Granado

It Takes More Than Time

There is a saying, ‘Time Heals’ but at Love Grows we do not subscribe to the mere passing of time as the elixir to healing emotional wounds.

Time + Concerted Action is required to heal emotionally as it is to heal physically and financially.

For example, if you sustain a physical injury, the passing of time alone will not heal the wound instead time + no action will result in: weak muscles, loss of full range of motion with each day you are not involved in some sort of rehabilitation. The passing of days without changing your spending and saving habits will not move you closer to becoming debt free.
 

The same is applicable to your emotional health. Time + Therapy is the most sustainable way to heal your emotional wounds.

Time alone does not heal your heart, there are very specific tools needed for this level of "heart work". Therapist are similar to any other professional. If you have an issue with:

⚠ Your car, you take it to the mechanic or dealership

⚠ Health - the appropriate health care provider

⚠ Finances - consult with an adviser

⚠ Hair – hairstylist, barber

⚠ Dietary – nutritionist

⚠ Fitness – trainer

There is no shame or stigma associated with seeking help from any of these professionals so why is emotional health different? Life is on the job training, where you are learning, implementing, revising and implementing again all in real time. Unfortunately, there is no trial run or a simulation version where you can practice and perfect everything before implementing. There are unexpected and emotionally painful experiences (i.e. death, divorce, miscarriages, conception challenges, job loss, abuse, etc) you may experience on your journey and despite what others may believe, you do not have to heal on your own. Seeking therapy does not bring into question your masculinity, strength or capacity, instead; to the contrary it proves the following:

❤ You have made your emotional health and healing a priority

❤ You know your well-being is worth the investment

❤ You are serious about healing and are taking the fastest route by partnering with a professional who has the tools & expertise

Do not allow archaic thinking to keep you from healing your emotional wounds. Seek a therapist. Make the investment. Do the work. Improve the quality of your life. We are here. Contact us today. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS