That's NOT My Muck...It's Yours!

Although you may have forgiven someone, it is possible they have not forgiven you or their own emotional wounds serve as a block, hindering their ability to nurture the space (friendship, relationship).

This is evident by the 'emotional jabs' they inflict upon you. By inviting these individuals into your life, these 'emotional jabs' will exacerbate any of your residual wounds, prolonging the healing period. It is the equivalent to inviting them into your beautiful, clean, new house (symbol for forgiveness and new beginnings) and they enter with muddy construction boots, walk around your living room, plop down on your new sofa and then say, 

'For a new place, it sure is dirty! What kind of person lives like this? Why can't you take care of stuff? By the way you keep your space, you aren't welcome in mine.'

Either they do not realize or refuse to be accountable that they are the one who brought in the mud. Never allow anyone to convince you their 'muck' is yours. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Misha's Minute: When Love is NOT Enough

Your love is not enough for sustainable behavior change within another person. It is great to be supportive, a cheerleader, send affirmations, serve as an accountability partner, pray, check-in, send positive energy, etc HOWEVER all of your efforts in the ABSENCE of said individual:

✔Making their health on ALL levels a priority

✔Believing, agreeing and wanting to change within themselves and

✔Doing THEIR work to change

...Will NOT result in sustainable change. If the external were sufficient for change without the internal buy-in and action then the following would be sufficient and yield the desired outcome:

• Nutrition-fitness plan = health goals

• Financial management = financial goals

• Therapist’s tools = personal and/or relationship goals

None of these WITHOUT buy-in, investment and work from the individual will yield the desired outcome. This is also applicable to your spouse, significant other, family members, children, friends, etc. You cannot heal, fix or save another this is THEIR responsibility. It is NOT UNTIL the individual decides INTERNALLY that they want something different will they begin to take action. It is within their action stage where all of your external motivation, support, etc. becomes beneficial. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS 

Misha's Minute: The Purpose of Relationships

Relationships are opportunities to learn more about yourself.

• Are you a connoisseur of you?
• Do you know your emotional triggers?
• Do you know the source of your emotional wounds?
• Have you healed your emotional wounds?
• Do you know what you need when you are angry, sad, frustrated, scared, in a panic, etc?
• Do you know your communication style?
• Do you know which qualities and characteristics EXPAND and CONSTRICT your #happiness and highest good?
• Do you know your love language and the love language which compliments you best?

Do you know the role YOU played in ALL of your previous relationships which ended (accountability, responsibility)? It is NOT always the other person and IF it is it is still YOU because YOU continue to choose the same type of people.

If you do not know the answers to all of these questions (and so many more) then you have not learned from your relationships nor are you fully aware of self. .

ABSOLUTELY EVERY relationship (romantic, business, familial, platonic, friendships, etc) are opportunities to learn more about self. We are ALL teachers and students in these relationships. You are the common denominator is ALL of your relationships.

This is what we do at Love Grows we help you understand your patterns, identify your emotional wounds, help you heal them and to become more aware of who you are which allows you to show up differently, healthy and fully for yourself, others, life and love. We are accepting new clients. Contact us today (info@lovegrows.us).  Misha N Granado, MPH, MS