Gadget Confusion

One of the fastest ways to escalate (or in some cases create) an issue is to use technology to communicate instead of speaking in-person or via phone whenever our feelings are hurt, we are angry or not clear on something. I have definitely been guilty of having an ENTIRE conversation in my head (unbeknownst to the other party), jumping  (Olympic high jump to be exact) to conclusions and then sending a barrage of text messages which results in the recipient looking at their phone and thinking WTF just happened???!!!! *sigh*

It is so easy to misread tone, humor, etc. via technology, especially if:

1. The relationship is new and both parties do not know each other’s humor or communication style,
2. You are unaware of your emotional triggers and/or
3. If you misread the message.

My recommendation is whenever you ‘feel some type of way’ follow these steps as a preventative damage control technique:

Immediately STEP AWAY FROM YOUR GADGET!

Ask yourself, ‘Do I think Person A is trying to intentionally hurt me?’ If No – possible misunderstanding; if Yes – why are you interacting with someone who you believe would intentionally hurt you?

Take a few moments (or an hour) to calm down

Call the person and say, ‘Hi. Are you available to chat about the most recent message you sent? I think I may have misinterpreted it.

The issue is when you respond from a wounded place, oftentimes you are in defense mode and this is where hurtful things are said and assumptions are made. Although your emotional wounds are a part of your journey, your emotional wounds cannot lead your journey for the wounded perspective is skewed and as a result your vision is obscured.

Healthy relationship consist of a space where both parties feel emotionally safe to have open honest conversations. Each exchange and experience is an opportunity to learn more about each other and self. Be extra gentle with each other in the beginning when you are co-creating a new ‘We’ space, there is so much to learn about each other. Remember this is a new space, he is not your Ex who broke your heart and she is not the woman who betrayed you. Clean slate. Beginnings. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Love is a Lifestyle: Love is a Teacher

To love is the ultimate life lesson and love employs infinite teachers to help us master this life long course.  Everyone, absolutely everyone who steps on our path, regardless of the time duration, serves as both a teacher and student and we take turns fulfilling these roles in each other's lives. 

Our master teachers are often the people and situations that are the most challenging for us and usually they appear when it is time to emotionally and energetically grow.

They teach us more about self, allowing us discover a new depth, heal a wound, gain a new perspective, establish a new boundary, become clear, master patience, forgiveness and/or using our voice effectively. Master teachers often reveal the areas where we have been unkind to self.  

There are other teachers as well, ones who: demonstrate various healthy behaviors (patience, forgiveness, accountability, how to let go, communication, kindness, etc.), provide support, different perspectives, encouragement and remind us that love has not forgotten us. 

Are you able to identify when you are the teacher or student? Can you identify which role the various people in your life occupy? Are you passing or failing the lessons? HInt, if you continue to repeat a course, you have not mastered it.  

Do you need tutoring in any of these courses? If so, we are here and are now accepting new clients. Contact us today, info@lovegrows.us to schedule your sessions today. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS