Need vs Want Relationship

There is a difference between a NEED and WANT relationship. A need is something mandatory for survival. For example, babies need their parents because they are not able to provide and take care of self. They are fully dependent on their caretakers. Parents are keenly aware before embarking on this journey that this relationship will not be equitable. Sure, babes are super cute and expand the heart space; but they will need more than they give and that is okay for this relationship dynamic; especially in the early years.

A ‘need’ relationship is similar to the parent – child dynamic; where one person due to their lack of emotional maturity believes they NEED Person X to survive, be happy, feel love, etc.

These ‘needy’ relationships are quite draining on the other person and soon resentment begins to set in because unlike a parent who is fully aware of the inequitable dynamics PRIOR to entering the relationship; in these romantic situations this dynamic is usually unknown.

 

A ‘want’ relationship is very different. In these spaces, the partners are not needed for survival, happiness, love, shelter, etc. instead they choose and want to share in each other’s lives and embark on the life journey adventure together...as partners and friends.

When both parties are emotionally healthy and mature the quality of the relationship reflects this as well. The manner in which they speak to each other and handle challenges are very different. There are no longer arguments, instead there are discussions. Neither party tries to condemn, convict or convince (The 3 C’s) the other nor are ‘dirty tactics’ (i.e. manipulation, guilt, emotional warfare, silent treatments, emotional punishment, etc.) utilized. They do not try to micromanage each other in any facet.

 

Trust is the foundation in which the relationship is built and both parties have and continue to co-create and cultivate a sacred space where both feel emotionally safe to be vulnerable and transparent.

Some people do not know how to function within a ‘want’ relationship because they erroneously believe if they are not needed they have somehow lost their power and ‘stake’ in the other person’s life. This is where a mental and emotional ‘shift’ in perspective is required. Healthy relationships do not operate with a power dynamic or need to have dominion over another’s life.

This is what we do at Love Grows, we join you exactly where you are and gently help you heal and it is through healing where your perspective begins to change. Are you in a need or want relationship? We are accepting new clients. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com to schedule your sessions. – Misha

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Grounded

A man who is grounded and has a clear vision for his life knows the qualities and characteristics in a woman that will compliment him and the same is true for a woman.

These individuals have the ability to see each other in totality and

...are keenly aware that the whole is always greater than any ‘piece.’

Sure, another individual may have more or less of something than your significant other but their pieces cannot compare or replace the whole, not if you are clear on your vision and purpose.

In order to recognize your love, you must be clear and grounded in the grandness of you. We can experience happiness with many people, and even a great life; but your best life, now that is something different. © - Misha N. Granado

A Pretty Mess

Unfortunately, it seems we live in a society that is more concerned with:

• The external than the internal.
• Quantity instead of quality.
• Trends instead of the classics.
• Hook ups instead of relationships.
• Shallow instead of deep connections.

When you prioritize your external and neglect your internal ESPECIALLY when emotional wounds are involved the result is pursing external entities in attempts to medicate, ignore or silence the pain.

No amount of make-up, couture, labels, vehicles, plastic surgery or degrees will fix it. You cannot marry out of your pain. You cannot move away from your heartache. You cannot collect enough passport stamps to heal.

These methods do not result in sustainable healing. Instead, all that happens with this approach is you continue to have your emotional wounds now with flawless makeup, gorgeous couture gowns, driving beautiful luxury cars.

There are many broken hearts and emotionally wounded people who live in very exclusive neighborhoods, jetting across the globe in first class, married into very posh families. There is nothing wrong with wealth, beauty, comfort, and beautiful things. But these are not a surrogate to healing. You can never outrun yourself, my love. Invest in your healing. Love Grows is here to help. Contact us today to schedule your sessions. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Patience: Do Not Dig Up Your Harvest Before the Season

Do Not Disturb Your Seeds. A pregnant woman does not obtain ultrasounds daily to check on her baby. A farmer does not dig up his seeds to ensure the root system is being established. The level of irreversible damage is increased with both. The same is true for the manifestation of our dreams and best life.

Sometimes we become nervous when our 'seeds' do not sprout according to our timetable. We may begin to panic or allow fear to convince us it will not happen and we need to do something else. Are you experiencing this now?

💥 Step back.

💥 Breathe.

💥 Breathe again.

This 'seed' was planted in YOU because YOU are the one who is meant to 'birth' it. Seeds establish their intricate root system,  grounding itself and connecting to the water supply it will need to nourish and sustain it when it shoots upwards towards the sun.

This is also the time when you are to strengthen your faith and belief in love, knowing what you planted was good and will yield an amazing harvest. You do not need to disturb the seeds, instead continue to prepare the space (mind, by removing muck) for the arrival. Continue to live in love and when it's time, similar to a baby, your dream will manifest.

❤ Stay the course.

❤ Speak to it.

❤ Love it.

❤ Be excited for its arrival. .

This is your dream, it will  not look like anyone else's. The sooner you accept and #embrace this, the sooner you will be able to nurture this space properly. -Misha N Granado, MPH, MS

Misha's Minute: The Purpose of Relationships

Relationships are opportunities to learn more about yourself.

• Are you a connoisseur of you?
• Do you know your emotional triggers?
• Do you know the source of your emotional wounds?
• Have you healed your emotional wounds?
• Do you know what you need when you are angry, sad, frustrated, scared, in a panic, etc?
• Do you know your communication style?
• Do you know which qualities and characteristics EXPAND and CONSTRICT your #happiness and highest good?
• Do you know your love language and the love language which compliments you best?

Do you know the role YOU played in ALL of your previous relationships which ended (accountability, responsibility)? It is NOT always the other person and IF it is it is still YOU because YOU continue to choose the same type of people.

If you do not know the answers to all of these questions (and so many more) then you have not learned from your relationships nor are you fully aware of self. .

ABSOLUTELY EVERY relationship (romantic, business, familial, platonic, friendships, etc) are opportunities to learn more about self. We are ALL teachers and students in these relationships. You are the common denominator is ALL of your relationships.

This is what we do at Love Grows we help you understand your patterns, identify your emotional wounds, help you heal them and to become more aware of who you are which allows you to show up differently, healthy and fully for yourself, others, life and love. We are accepting new clients. Contact us today (info@lovegrows.us).  Misha N Granado, MPH, MS