Tip 4 of 8: Internal Dialogue
Photo Credit: Diana Simumpan
Tip 3 of 8: Distance
Photo Credit: Barrel On
If someone no longer wants to be with you, accept it. He or she is not your source for love, happiness, joy, etc. Another person is fully capable, willing and desires to co-create a beautiful new love story with you. But FIRST you must properly heal this space, do not sabotage your future love space with baggage from your past.
Read more8 Love Grows Tips to Create a Healthy Me Space After a Relationship Ends: Tip #1 - Therapy
Your loved ones mean well, but do they have the tools, expertise, skills or knowledge YOU need at this time in your life? Their coping strategies may not work for you, be sustainable, healthy or appropriate.
Read moreMore Than One Way
Photo Credit: Caleb Jones
There is more than one path to fulfill the desires of your heart and your life purpose. Therefore when one door (i.e. relationship, job, mentor, opportunity) does not open or closes later down the path, do not fret; instead shift your perspective and begin to:
View each route as an adventure
Become curious and creative to discover how to transform this unexpected outcome into a springboard to catapult you into your next adventure.
This is one of the most beautiful aspects about love and life, no one entity is responsible or the sole source of the resources you need for your journey. Therefore, one person’s ‘No’ is not a dead end but instead a detour and your adventure continues. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS
Daddy Daughter Day
I was not raised by my biological father and I did not realize the impact his absence had on my life, choices, behavior, men I dated, the way I treated men, thoughts, beliefs, etc until I began doing the work to heal my emotional wounds. From a healed heart and perspective, I was able to forgive him, hold no ill feelings towards him and trust the process (God-love). I reached out to him a few times throughout the years to no avail, however when he is ready I welcome the opportunity to chat.
Unfortunately, many of us perceive our parents to be superhuman and hold them to a higher standard than we hold ourselves. We forget or do not realize although they are our parents, they still have their own emotional wounds, dreams deferred, experienced heartache, feel frustrated, scared, disappointed, may not know what to do, fear being rejected by us, etc. When we realize this and view them from this perspective, our relationship evolves to the next level: emotionally mature adult child: parent.
Although my biological dad did not raise me, love gifted a ‘bonus dad’ to me, the man I consider my dad, the man who raised me and it was through him I also received bonus siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, cousins, etc. Our relationship continues to evolve and grow which is directly correlated with our individual growth and expansion and both of us co-nurturing this relationship. One of the ways we do this is monthly Daddy Daughter Days and today was our day. Usually we spend a few hours at the gun range and then have lunch. Today due to our schedules we only had lunch, but it was filled with plenty of laughter, family stories I had never heard and history lesson on the family dynamics, etc.
We cannot change the past, we cannot make anyone do anything, including our parents. But we can choose to let go, heal, change perspectives and make our well being and wellness our responsibility and priority. Be gentle with self and others (including parents). Keep your heart open, it is stronger and much deeper than you realize.
Love has infinite ways to intertwine in our lives and may present in unexpected packages: bonus parents|siblings|family, new love after a loss (death, divorce), friends, etc. If you need help making room in your heart, we are here. Schedule your session today. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS