The Wednesday Word: Touch
There are so many companies making claims that their products or services are the fastest. This gadget, 3G, 4G, towers and hot spots. There are various platforms: FB, IG, Twitter, G+, IN, email, text, phone, Skype, Google hangout, WhatsApp and I’m sure there are many others. But the best connection is in person, the opportunity to utilize all of your senses: listen, touch, see, taste (kisses for the romantic spaces) and smell. Technology cannot replicate human connection, it is not the same.
Today and every day, I implore you to connect in person with your loved ones. If being physically present is not an option due to geographical reasons, use Skype/FaceTime to connect with each other in real time. For those who are smitten with someone who may reside in a different locale, take the steps to connect in person; book the plane, train bus, ferry or automobile. Stop putting off the connection. Live in the moment. Take a chance.
- Your eyes are better than any LCD or LED screens because with them you can visualize absolutely anything. Become a conscious dreamer, and focus on what you desire.
- Your ears are the dopest surround system ever created and sweetest vibration are words spoken on love’s frequency.
- Your sense of smell is better than any other reminder system because scent has the ability to immediately transport you to a particular time/space and trigger a memory (time travel).
In Love, - Misha N. Granado
Slow Down Sundays: Be Present
In this age of social media and technology where we can connect with each other in real time, I think many people take for granted the opportunity to connect with each other in person, be fully present and exchange energy without documenting and updating their cyber communities. There are many people who want nothing more than the opportunity:
- to spend time with their loved ones and look into their eyes hear their voice and hold them again those loved ones who they lost
- to listen to their mom tell the same story for the 1000th time
- inhale their wife’s perfume linger as she walks by
- or to listen to their child ask numerous questions
Perhaps people who neglected or took their romantic relationships for granted which resulted in the relationship dissolving (i.e. divorce or breakup) now with hindsight and perspective realize the gift they had or how they could have prioritized differently.
One of the goals of these Love Grows blogs, tips and my lectures and therapy sessions is to provide a different perspective in which to view your life and to serve as a mirror to reflect your image back to you.
- Are you REALLY doing all you can to nurture and cultivate your relationships, including the relationship with self?
- Are you honoring love by being gentle, kind, patient, supportive, compassionate and practicing forgiveness?
- Are you cherishing each moment, knowing it is a gift, one which you will never experience exactly the same again or are you trudging through life complaining or racing to some particular end point?
Today on this Slow Down Sunday, I encourage you to slow your pace in order to gain a new perspective. Here are a few activities you can do to become present and grateful:
Place your first and index finger on your neck and find your pulse. Inhale and exhale deeply and slowly. Feel the rhythm of your heart. Your heart beats regardless of your thoughts and the quality of your life. As long as your heart is pumping you have an opportunity to grow, heal, improve, and forgive.
Sit in front of a loved one (friend, family, romantic). Hold hands. Set a timer for 1 minute. Gaze into each other’s eyes without speaking. Once the buzzer chimes, discuss what you felt to each other. Set the timer for 3 minutes. Repeat. Can you make it to 10 minutes? What do you feel? What thoughts do you have? Something magical happens when we give each other undivided attention. It is powerful and can actually elevate the frequency of your relationship.
Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS Exclusively for Love Grows
Marriage Mondays: Head vs Heart Space
Do you know when you are operating in your head (ego) vs heart (love) space? In relationships, especially marriage there is no room for ego; ego is selfish and only concerned about self. Whenever ego feels it is being attacked, ego goes into defense mode and will stop at nothing to destroy the 'enemy.' Your spouse is NOT your enemy, and if he/she is then you two should not be married. It takes courage to live and operate from your heart space, a place of vulnerability.
It is easy to operate from ego, unfortunately in our society ego is allowed to run a muck, it is often on display in our media and is compensated quite well. Ego brings ratings, drama, has social media a buzz but ego is detrimental to your relationships (including friendships, family and business). The foundation of all ego is insecurity due to unhealed emotional wounds.
At Love Grows we speak a lot about emotional wounds and the importance of YOU doing YOUR work to heal YOUR wounds because we know if you do not you will continue to sabotage your relationships, wound others and not experience your full love potential.
Today on this marriage Monday we implore you to ask yourself the following whenever you feel angry, sad, hurt, etc in response to something your significant other said (did not say) or did (did not do)
"Do I truly believe my significant other is trying to intentionally hurt me?"
If yes, then it is time to ask yourself why you are in a relationship with someone who you believe will intentionally hurt you. If no, then better communication is needed. -Misha N Granado
The Art of Breaking Up
“The way you handle a break up has everything to do with you, NOT the other person. ”
The ideal and quite possibly the preferred way to end a relationship is for both people to mutually agree it is time to go their separate ways and loving let each other go. However, the reality is oftentimes one person no longer wants to be in the relationship (for any number of reasons) and by the time he/she brings their breakup decision to you, they have already emotionally disconnected from you and informing you is the last step a formality of sorts. It’s important to know that when someone ends a relationship with you it is about them; where they are in their life and what they need and it may no longer be you. This is difficult to hear, read and more importantly accept, but it is the truth. You cannot control it nor change their mind. But the way YOU handle the breakup is ALL ABOUT YOU and can serve as a spring board to propel you forward or a weight keeping you stuck.
Yes, it sucks when someone no longer wants to be with you and truthfully their reason does not make the heartache any easier. Everyone is on their own journey and as such it is possible the space (direction/destination) and pace (the speed) changes. Although I do not know the specifics of why your relationship ended, I do know the following:
- Your BEST life is NOT connected to someone who no longer wants to be with you.
- He or she is not the end all be all, there is more love available to you.
- Stalking (cyber or in real life), hacking, begging, pleading, manipulating, threatening, etc. does NOT make you desirable nor will it change their mind. Instead it only provides another reason confirming why breaking up with you was the right decision.
- Your EX cannot help you process.
There is a detox period after a break up, with withdrawal like symptoms and similar to any other detox; you must go through the discomfort. Self-medicating offers temporary relief but prolongs your healing.
Each relationship ending offers the unique opportunity to learn more about self, what works and does not work for you. It allows you become clear/focused on the type of experiences you desire.
Endings are required for beginnings.
Whatever you believe about yourself is 100% true for you. If you engage in negative self talk (i.e. I’m not good enough, worthy, attractive, smart, etc. I am too big, too small, I will never find love again, no one will love me, etc.) then you are absolutely right! Change your internal dialogue to change your life.
What and whoever is for you is for you and you will NOT need to campaign, finagle nor change who you are to fit into a box. Shift your perspective and you will begin to recognize the lessons and opportunities to grow, becoming a better version of you. – Misha N. Granado